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ARACHNOPHOBIA

from DEMO by ANGEL LUST

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lyrics

I watched a spider crawl on my wall for about two hours. Champagne blossomed my face. I flowered. Into something neither sweet nor sour. Just uninspired and tasteless. Your face formed in blotches of light. I didn't blink. Scared I'd lose the sight. "Take your life", said the angel on my right, "that's direct from Jesus Christ."

There was an audible laugh.

My epitaph: Here lies a selfish brother. A terrible son to a beautiful mother. An idiot who abandoned his lover for the bottle and some fun.

I guess I never learned to play nice. I guess I can't play nice. No, I can't play nice at all.

The awful things I do on Drake Ave. aren't without consequence. The jury's out but in my defense, pain and misery just suit me best. I like the fall and the cut. So I'll sing these words in the direction you left. One hundred yards into the desolation. This ain't no love song but I still sign it "To you, with love."

There was an audible laugh.

If this hell, then why am I so cold? I'm a snowflake melting in a pile of slush. Unique in the way I can't stand to be touched. If this is hell, then why am I fucking freezing? There's voices in these walls but none of them seem to say the things that I need to hear:

"I know how it feels to be that alone and wait by the phone for a call that ain't ever gonna come. Yeah, I know how it feels to be you at night and pray by moonlight to a God you've scorned since you were young."

They just mock me.

True love will never again grace these eyes. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of the lies about the butterflies. The kind that eat out your insides. I hope you know.

credits

from DEMO, released June 2, 2015

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